How Alpha Gamma Delta Influenced My Career Path

The following is an excerpt from a scholarship application letter to the Alpha Gamma Delta Foundation. It details how I have integrated the Alpha Gamma Delta Purpose into my life and how it has influenced my career choice by mirroring it with the National Association of Social Workers (NASW) Code of Ethics. 

              "As Alpha Gams we are regularly told to “Live with Purpose.” I have taken this to heart and incorporated it into my current field of study and lifelong career goals. I am a social work graduate student at Wayne State University in Detroit, Michigan. As most Americans are aware, my state, and Detroit in particular, has been hit very hard by the economic recession. In order to honor my home, I have chosen to be a change agent where I live. Homelessness, unemployment, sickness, hunger, and high crime rates are just a few of the social problems facing my home today. As a social worker, I will seek to soothe the pain of hunger, ease the burden of joblessness, advocate for healthcare for the sick and raise awareness of crime rates and homelessness. In addition to contributing to the world’s work in my community, I also seek to improve the health of my fellow Detroiters through individual therapy and advocacy.

The National Association of Social Workers has set forth a list of six core values that all social workers must adhere to. These core values include service, social justice, preserving the dignity and acknowledging the worth of the person, acknowledging the importance of human relationships and maintaining integrity and competence. Based on these core values, an entire Code of Ethics has been written. When I see these values and the Code of Ethics, I can see plainly the similarities between these documents and the Alpha Gamma Delta Purpose. 

Being a competent social worker involves gaining understanding and knowledge so that I might be of the most help to my clients. It also involves networking and cultivating acquaintances with colleagues so that I will be aware of resources in my community. Truth, sincerity and kindness are all necessary to developing and maintaining healthy and constructive client relationships. Surely when Emily Helen Butterfield wrote the Purpose, she had high hopes for her community. It is a happy coincidence that I, a sister of the Fraternity she helped to start, should be continuing to act on these values in her own home community of southeast Michigan long after her passing. The ideals set forth by the Alpha Gamma Delta Purpose and the NASW Code of Ethics are high indeed and must be realized to their fullest meaning in order to be an effective social worker and loyal sister." 

Do you have a "purpose," special Bible verse or other creed close to your heart that has shaped your course in life?

Fall Recipe: Savory Pumpkin Quinoa

I was introduced to quinoa recently. I have known about this "superfood," but I never actually tried it. What put me off is the amount of time it takes to prepare. I'm not one to regularly cook rice or other foods that take 20+minutes just to absorb water. Unfortunately, with quinoa there is the added step of rinsing before cooking. As I did not have a fine enough strainer, I ended up lining a regular colander with a kitchen towel and using that to rise in.

I had no idea what to do with the quinoa once I had made it (and I made a big batch so I could avoid the "long" cooking process). I added some Indian spices to the first small amount, and that was pretty good, but it was like adding a dry spice to plain rice - it lacked body. So, naturally, I got online and started searching. I had some leftover pure pumpkin from a candy-venture earlier that day so I searched for pumpkin quinoa recipes. What I found was a great hearty, healthy dish full of fall flavors.

Savory Pumpkin Quinoa

The original recipe from The Wannabe Chef can be found by following the above link. Here is my version (close to the original, but with a few tweaks)

1 cup cooked quinoa
1 onion, diced
1/4 cup red bell pepper, diced
1 Tbs olive oil
1 cup pumpkin puree
3/4 tsp salt
1/2 tsp each sage, rosemary, thyme

Heat the oil and add the diced onions and pepper until the onions are translucent and the pepper is cooked through and slightly charred.

Add the pumpkin, salt, herbs and quinoa to the pan. Mix thoroughly and allow everything to heat through.

Serve hot.

This is a great comfort food and it's great the next day. Filling and lasting lunch to take to work on gloomy days, too!

Summer Reading Challenge: Close, but Not Quite

Well, here it is. The last day of summer and I am part way through my 17th book. My own personal challenge was to read 20 books this summer (Memorial Day to Labor Day). While I know the first day of autumn isn't until September 22, my life is about to go crazy.
I will only have Sundays off in which to frantically cram in my homework. I already know that I have a group project in one class and I know my availability is far more severely limited than anyone else in the group. I'm feeling overwhelmed and stressed already.
I am disappointed that I did not reach my goal of 20 books this summer. I know I put in a fair effort towards reaching it, but I also know that my goal of 50 books this year is almost certainly not going to happen now. It was going to be a stretch even if I had made my goal.

Do you all have any goals you set for yourself during the year or season? Did you reach them?

Keeping Up Appearances

As I might have mentioned before, I am a Recruitment Specialist for Alpha Gamma Delta. My Provinces are 21 and 22, which means I oversee recruitment for the 7 chapters in Michigan's lower peninsula. This weekend, I had the opportunity to visit the Zeta Sigma chapter at Northwood University. What an outstanding group of women! I had such fun and I think we all learned a lot.

One of the universal topics that comes up during recruitment is "image." The chapter's image, each sisters personal image and the type of reputation the group has. Of course, being visible on campus, participating in campus events and other student organizations and always being well groomed and presentable come up as ways to achieve and maintain a positive "image."

As a visiting Recruitment Specialist, I like to do a combination of observing the chapter while they have their own discussions while jumping in and facilitating where necessary. As I was listening, I was also applying this concept of "image" to my own newly-begun professional life. This is just one more place where being Greek gives us an edge up over non-Greeks - everybody hears how important it is to clean up your online presence and dress appropriately, but few can actually see in action just how important those "silly" things really are!

I am currently working for a domestic violence and sexual assault agency. I did an internship there last academic year and now am working there part time as a paid employee. I love the agency, I love my co-workers and I am passionate about our mission and philosophy. I hope to be employed there for a long time! I am grateful that I made such an impression on my supervisor who helped me get this job; without her, I would probably still be unemployed and wondering how I was going to pay for my gas and books this semester!

So how does a chapter's image during recruitment relate to my personal work life? Well, even though I would like to be employed there for a long time, it might not work out that way. A full time position that I'm qualified for may not be available when I graduate. It might not pay what I need in order to make my loan payments as well as every day expenses. In this case, I would need to find another position.

Like in Greek life, being in the field of social work, human services and mental health means being in a professional community where everybody talks and has to work together. Your reputation (or that of your agency) often precedes you. The more things you are positively involved in and the more constructive interactions you have with a variety of people, the better. This is why maintaining a professional yet friendly demeanor, appropriate dress and behavior is so important - particularly for those of us just entering the workforce. The Millennials have challenges previous generations never dreamed of: we are often over-educated, underpaid, inexperienced and vying for positions people with 20-30 years of experience are also trying to secure - all while shouldering crushing student loan debt, trying to keep our chins up and our of our parents' way (many of us are living at home well into our 30's...).

But we have one thing on these experienced (often) Baby Boomers: We have not had 30 years to get into trouble. If we can keep our image sparkling clean and our reputation spotless, it can really give us an edge. We already have a bit of a reputation (true or not) of wanting everything to be handed to us. If we can show employers that we are hard workers, professional, responsible and trustworthy, we can show them that as inexperienced but motivated employees, they can mold us to the workers they want in order to achieve the results they desire within their organizations.

So what it comes down to is this: Whether you are a Greek organization trying to attract new members, new members trying to get into a fraternity or sorority, or a new professional it is important to remember this: your reputation precedes you. If what people see and know of on the outside isn't shining, they won't take the time to get to know what great things you have to offer on the inside.

Do you have any examples of where a reputation (good or bad) really had an impact on a group or individual?* 

*If it is negative, please change the person/groups name out of courtesy!

Book Review: "Summer Rental" by Mary Kay Andrews

Synopsis (from GoodReads.com):

Sometimes, when you need a change in your life, the tide just happens to pull you in the right direction….

Ellis, Julia, and Dorie. Best friends since Catholic grade school, they now find themselves, in their mid-thirties, at the crossroads of life and love. Ellis, recently fired from a job she gave everything to, is rudderless and now beginning to question the choices she's made over the past decade of her life. Julia—whose caustic wit covers up her wounds--has a man who loves her and is offering her the world, but she can't hide from how deeply insecure she feels about her looks, her brains, her life.  And Dorie has just been shockingly betrayed by the man she loved and trusted the most in the world…though this is just the tip of the iceberg of her problems and secrets. A month in North Carolina's Outer Banks is just what they each of them needs.

Ty Bazemore is their landlord, though he's hanging on to the rambling old beach house by a thin thread. After an inauspicious first meeting with Ellis, the two find themselves disturbingly attracted to one another, even as Ty is about to lose everything he's ever cared about.

Maryn Shackleford is a stranger, and a woman on the run. Maryn needs just a few things in life: no questions, a good hiding place, and a new identity.  Ellis, Julia, and Dorie can provide what Maryn wants; can they also provide what she needs? 

Five people questioning everything they ever thought they knew about life. Five people on a journey that will uncover their secrets and point them on the path to forgiveness.   Five people who each need a sea change, and one month in a summer rental that might just give it to them.

One of Library Journal's Best Women’s Fiction Books of 2011

My Thoughts **spoiler alert**:

I really enjoyed this book. It is absolutely a summer read (and is advertised as such!), but the author has such a talent for description that she made me feel like I was AT Ebbtide and in Nags Head with the characters.

Ellis seemed to fall a little flat to me: I understood her angst, her torment over joblessness and manlessness. At times, it almost seemed like she was the main character, even though the story was supposed to be about the three friends- Ellis, Dorie and Julia. 

Dorie also didn't do much for me. I could appreciate her unique life situation with her husband leaving her for another man just as she learned of her pregnancy, but as a person, I didn't really feel much for her. Julia, on the other hand, procrastinator, model and pot-stirrer was a bit better. She certainly threw a few wrenches into the plot. 

The person I was most interested in, however, was Madison/Maryn, the woman on the run from her abusive and embezzling husband. Funny thing is, she was supposed to be a "sub-plot" but she was the most real of all of the characters. 

Of course, this isn't supposed to be a work of literary genius: it's pure entertainment. And entertain, it does! Recommended for a quick, easy, amusing beach-read.

Final Word: B+

Product Review: Staniac Lip & Cheek Stain

I am not a fan of "stains." I have had horrible luck with them staining where I don't want them to, fading, being way too dark, not spreading and looking splotchy - any drama you can think of, I've experienced it. I obtained a sample of theBalm cosmetics Staniac lip and cheek stain in the color "Beauty Queen" and have little negative to say about it!

The other stains I have sampled (mostly Benefit, to be honest, but a few drugstore brands as well) have been runny and dry too quickly for me to spread the pigment where I want. The Staniac product, however, is more of a gel texture and takes a bit longer to dry, allowing more time for even dispersion. I was very happy with the wand applicator particularly because I primarily used this product on my lips. 

I did try it on my cheeks, but it was a bit bright for my taste. The "Beauty Queen" color is a bright magenta pink. I would like to try this product in "Prom Queen" which is a lighter pink and might suit my needs for an every-day stain better than the deeper shade. 

In addition to the workability of this product, it did not leave my lips or skin feeling dried out and while it did fade throughout the day (no product lasts forever!), it faded evenly. I did not have any weird lines around my mouth where some pigment was still hanging on while the middle of my lip was completely bare. I say if a product is going to wear off, it should wear off evenly! 

Finally, unlike other stains I have tried which completely take over and come through any other product I would layer on top (gloss, powder, etc.) the Staniac lip and cheek stain blended very nicely with bronzer, powder, lipstick and lipgloss which gave me much more control over my exact color and coverage. This product costs $17 for .3fl oz and can be purchased at theBalm.com, Nordstrom, Amazon, or through Birchbox. 

Overall Grade: A-

Book Review: "Keeping the Moon" by Sarah Dessen

Synopsis (from Barnes & Noble): 

"Fifteen-year-old Colie has never fit in. First, it was because she was fat. Then, after she lost the weight, it was because of a reputation that she didn't deserve. So when she's sent to stay with her eccentric aunt Mira for the summer, Colie doesn't expect too much. After all, why would anyone in Colby, North Carolina, want to bother with her when no one back home does?

But Colby turns out to be a nice surprise for Colie. Almost without trying, she lands herself a job at the Last Chance Bar and Grill. There she meets fellow waitresses Morgan and Isabel -- two best friends who teach her what friendship is all about, and help her learn to appreciate who she really is."

My Thoughts: 

Something to keep in mind: This book is definitely written for middle to high school aged readers. There are often books that I find in this genre of "Young Adult" literature that I think, "This really could be shelved in the general 'Fiction' section - it was really good!" This, however, is not one of them. Not that it wasn't good, it just was very juvenille.

I certainly would recommend it for readers who are in 7th - 10th grade who are feeling the oh-so-common angst of that age. It might help them gain a new perspective to have a main character as relatable as Colie. It is certainly a "surface read" - that is, what you see is what you get. There isn't a whole lot of "deeper meaning" to be found within these pages, but with the target audience presumably having their own adolescent traumas occurring, that might be a good thing.

It is fairly well written, but again, very simplistic. It touches on friendships, romances, and self esteem among other popular teenage topics. My favorite character was Aunt Mira: self assured, eccentric, creative, heart of gold. But overall I felt the story was a bit cloying and I lost interest a few times. Cute gift for the misfit teen in your life...

Final Word: C+

Book Review: "A Great and Terrible Beauty" by Libba Bray

Synopsis (from GoodReads.com): 

A Victorian boarding school story, a Gothic mansion mystery, a gossipy romp about a clique of girlfriends, and a dark other-worldly fantasy--jumble them all together and you have this complicated and unusual first novel.

Sixteen-year-old Gemma has had an unconventional upbringing in India, until the day she foresees her mother's death in a black, swirling vision that turns out to be true. Sent back to England, she is enrolled at Spence, a girls' academy with a mysterious burned-out East Wing. There Gemma is snubbed by powerful Felicity, beautiful Pippa, and even her own dumpy roommate Ann, until she blackmails herself and Ann into the treacherous clique. Gemma is distressed to find that she has been followed from India by Kartik, a beautiful young man who warns her to fight off the visions. Nevertheless, they continue, and one night she is led by a child-spirit to find a diary that reveals the secrets of a mystical Order. 

The clique soon finds a way to accompany Gemma to the other-world realms of her visions "for a bit of fun" and to taste the power they will never have as Victorian wives, but they discover that the delights of the realms are overwhelmed by a menace they cannot control. Gemma is left with the knowledge that her role as the link between worlds leaves her with a mission to seek out the "others" and rebuild the Order. 

My Thoughts: 

This book felt familiar to me, as if I had read it before. But after I got into it a bit, I realized that it must have been a book I started at some point and then put down. I’m honestly not too sure how I did that (if that is truly the case) because I really felt myself wanting to read on and on and on! The author spent just enough time on detail and descriptions that I felt like I could get a feel for the characters, but it moved at such a pace that it kept me interested and wanting to know more.

While it is an easy read and takes place in the late 1800’s, it deals with some very real issues that are still relevant today. For example, the loss of both parent and friend are addressed as well as social issues like cliques, self-injury and bullying. There is also a theme of forgiveness and a focus on increased understanding throughout the story in regards to both family relationships and friendships. 

I’d like to share one quote I found particularly well written: 

            “But forgiveness...I’ll hold on to that fragile slice of hope and keep it close, remembering that in each of us lie good and bad, light and dark, art and pain, choice and regret, cruelty and sacrifice. We’re each of us our own chiaroscuro, our own bit of illusion fighting to emerge into something solid, something real. We’ve got to forgive ourselves that. I must remember to forgive myself. Because there’s an awful lot of gray to work with. No one can live in the light all the time.” 

I believe the target audience this author was intending this story to be for is a bit younger than me, however it is an interesting and entertaining read for teens and adults alike. I’m glad it’s a trilogy - I can’t wait to get the next installment! 

Final Word: A-

Microvolunteering: Giving Back for the Frazzled Do-Gooder

I am so excited to share with you all this new site I discovered. It's called Sparked.com and it is a "microvolunteering" website. When I first heard of it I thought, "What in the world is microvolunteering?!" It turns out that it is a way for people all over the world to help others - right from your computer! It only takes a couple of minutes to truly have an impact.

When you sign up for an account, you will be given a very brief questionnaire about your talents and the types of causes you're passionate about. Based on your responses, it matches you up with "challenges" from groups who need some type of help. For instance, I included social media as a talent and that I was interested in programs involving youth. I was matched with an organization called Asian Youth Ministries. This group is just getting started and they needed help finding out who were some top influences on Twitter that might be interested in promoting their cause. All I had to do was check out Twitter, then copy and paste the usernames of the best Tweeters I found onto a response board! That's it!

There are so many ways to get involved: helping choose a logo for a new girls school in Africa, creating a recycling program for the Girl Scouts, being a guest-blogger for an environmental group, or even translating short articles in to Portuguese! If you've got a talent and you've got a few minutes, you can truly make a difference. There are nearly 10,000 "challenges" open and in need of microvolunteers. I encourage everyone to take a look at the Sparked.com website - it's a new frontier in volunteering and an easy, quick way to get involved and make an impact!

Time for a Change!

As summer comes to an end and we enter autumn, the season of change, I am considering making a few changes around here. I feel that limiting myself to "Books, Blooms, Beauty, Baking, and More" leaves out a large parts of my life that I'd like to share. 

While this will most likely continue to be mostly reviews of book and such (honestly, I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things!) I am very involved in my Greek organization, Alpha Gamma Delta. I am an alumna* and as such, it can be a challenge to stay involved. I hope to share ideas with fellow Greek women on ways to stay involved with your organization post-graduation (*for the unfamiliar readers, please refer to this post to understand the different levels of Greek membership). 

I'm also passionate about volunteering and being active in the community and I also hope to share ideas on ways you can realistically become involved in improving your neighborhood and beyond. I am looking forward to the changes I will be making; I truly think that by expanding the topics I blog about, I will not only be more consistent, but it will also be more interesting! 

Book Review: When We Were the Kennedy's by Monica Wood

Synopsis (from GoodReads): 1963, Mexico, Maine. The Wood family is much like its close, Catholic, immigrant neighbors, all dependent on a father’s wages from the Oxford Paper Company. Until the sudden death of Dad, when Mum and the four closely connected Wood girls are set adrift. Funny and to-the-bone moving, When We Were the Kennedys is the story of how this family saves itself, at first by depending on Father Bob, Mum’s youngest brother, a charismatic Catholic priest who feels his new responsibilities deeply. And then, as the nation is shocked by the loss of its handsome Catholic president, the televised grace of Jackie Kennedy—she too a Catholic widow with young children—galvanizes Mum to set off on an unprecedented family road trip to Washington, D.C., to do some rescuing of her own. An indelible story of how family and nation, each shocked by the unimaginable, exchange one identity for another.

My Thoughts:

I had really high expectations for this book to be a lot all at once: a tear jerker, laugh out loud funny, a sort of coming-of-age book all rolled into one. After all, the description makes it sound like this is exactly what it is! While it wasn't as funny as I had hoped, I did find myself consistently wanting to read on to find out what would happen next.

The story is told from middle-sister Monica's perspective. The Wood family has some unique dynamics that made their [mis]adventures more interesting: a special needs sister, a priest uncle who desperately wants to fill the "dad" void but who takes up drink, and distant relatives from Prince Edward Island who seem straight-from-the-fairy-tales. 

The death of a family member, particularly a parent or spouse, is earth shattering in its own. However, once the story moved beyond that (the even happened in the first couple chapters), nothing truly astounding happens for the rest of the book. Sure, there are a few surprises here and there that make you want to jump up and cheer (or run and give someone a hug), but overall it was a fairly mundane story with a few cute anecdotes. I particularly enjoyed the parts about the Nuns in Monica's school. 

I did have an overall feeling of "too much Oxford!" As someone from a small town, I can completely understand the feeling that a single business can be the lifeblood of the community. However, after Dad dies and things start to settle, I felt it rather tedious to keep coming back to the state of the Oxford throughout the story. Not until the very end did I see the point the author was making; to me, this is not particularly stellar writing. I should be able to follow the line of thought continuously, not flounder along until things click at the end. 

Overall, I'd say this is a Good Read! Particularly recommended if you have lost a parent recently. You will probably find more humor and heartbreak in this story than I because it will be more relatable. But even if you have not lost a loved one, this is still a pleasant read with a few twists and turns that will keep you interested throughout. 

Final Word: B-

Book Review: Mountains of the Moon by I. J. Kay

I won the book Mountains of the Moon by I. J. Kay from GoodReads First Reads (along with another, which I'm reading now!) and I was really excited to read it. Here's why...

Synopsis (from GoodReads.com): 

A highly original novel about a young woman’s journey from shattered youth to self-discovery.

After ten years in a London prison, Louise Adler (Lulu) is released with only a new alias to rebuild her life. Working a series of dead-end jobs, she carries a past full of secrets: a childhood marked by the violence and madness of her parents, followed by a reckless adolescence. From abandoned psychiatric hospitals to Edwardian-themed casinos, from a brief first love to the company of criminals, Lulu has spent her youth in an ever-shifting landscape of deceit and survival. But when she’s awarded an unexpected settlement claim after prison, she travels to the landscape of her childhood imagination, the central African range known as the Mountains of the Moon. There, in the region’s stark beauty, she attempts to piece together the fragments of her battered psyche.

Told in multilayered, hallucinatory flashbacks, Mountains of the Moon traces a traumatic youth and explores the journey of a young woman trying to transform a broken life into something beautiful. This dazzling novel from a distinctive new voice is sure to garner the attention of critics and readers alike.

My Thoughts:

Sounds pretty intense and interesting, right? I was so wrong...

I don't want to say it was "terrible" because it wasn't atrocious. However, I did not enjoy this book much at all. The hallucinatory and fractured way in which the story is told is so complex and multilayered that even when paying attention, it's nearly impossible to follow. Add (intentionally) misspelled words, (unfamiliar) British slang and fragments of song lyrics to the mix and it's a complete nightmare. Maybe it's just not my "cup of tea."

If I had not read the synopsis, I would have absolutely no clue what this story was all about. Even after reading it I feel the description is a bit of a stretch. If you are going to read this book, read the synopsis right before you begin the book and then again immediately following. It will help put everything together. 

I will say this: the author is gifted with descriptions. Even though I usually had absolutely no idea what was going on in the story, I felt like I was there (where ever "there" is...) I wish I could say more about the story, but I couldn't really follow it so I'll just leave it there.

Final Word: D

I Can't Do It FOR You...But I Can Help You Along Your Way.

Since this book is taking me so long to finish, I'll share a particularly powerful moment I had while at the Convention I mentioned yesterday. It came to mind again, particularly after reading this blog. If you'll take a moment to read it, I hope you can see why I was struck by the contrast of the author's words and my personal experience. 

This was my first time at Convention, mainly because it is very expensive! I currently serve Alpha Gamma Delta as a Recruitment Specialist for Michigan's lower peninsula, so I thought it would be beneficial to attend and meet my sisters from all over North America in person! Skype, conference calls, webinars and email can only go so far. As a first timer, I wasn't really sure what to expect...

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the Greek system, there are basically two types of members: "collegians" or "actives" (sisters who are still in college - this is who most people think of when they think "sorority" or "fraternity") and "alumnae" (those who have graduated). As an alumna, I thought I would be one of the few alumnae present. I was so wrong. 

The two sisters who stand out in my mind are a mother-daughter pair: Rosalie and Alberta. Rosalie must be in her 90's and Alberta in her 70's. Rosalie has suffered a series of strokes this year. She is bound to a wheelchair, had a nurse with her at all times (except during ritual) and held a stress ball in her right hand due to damage from the strokes. Alberta must use a walker. Those two were never, ever separated and Alberta held her mother's hand almost constantly.

I think our society is scared of aging, doesn't know how to respond to our elderly citizens and, generally, de-values these people. Unfortunately, many younger sisters, being products of this society, politely but consciously ignored these wonderful, wizened sisters. My friend and I, however, were intrigued by them and went over to introduce ourselves. What an interesting conversation we had!

We talked about everything from how they were related, that Rosalie was a geographer and about the time Alberta spent growing up in the Alpha Gamma Delta house before she was initiated because Rosalie was the "house mom!" Something Rosalie said when describing her stroke really struck me to the heart. She said, "You see my hand? I am of no use to the chapters anymore!" Of all the things to be upset over, Rosalie was worried about being useless to others. What a heart of gold and a true Alpha Gam! Alberta stayed faithfully by her side the entire time, taking measures to comfort and calm. They are incredible women with stories, experiences and full lives to share. 

But perhaps the most important thing Rosalie and Alberta taught me was a wordless lesson: Sometimes another person's touch can be the best healer. We Alpha Gams have an activity where we forms a circle, hold hands and sing favorite songs. Being wheelchair bound and with a walker, naturally Rosalie and Alberta were not able to circle up with everyone else. When I saw this, my friend and I gathered a small group of other sisters to sit with them at their table to make our own, smaller circle within the larger one. 

With nearly 650 women, this was a very powerful thing. To hold Roasalie's warm, gentle, arthritic hand and share the music of our Fraternity was one of the most powerful experiences of my life. Sheer joy and laugher shone across Alberta's face as she sang out, loud and proud, 

"Chums are we!

True blue old chums!

Alpha Gam binds us, 

Right loyal she finds us! 

Pals are we, 

Ever we'll be 

True to each other

Dear Alpha Gam chums!"

After the music had ended, my friend and I sat and talked with the two women for a while, promising to write (they live in Colorado, while we are in Michigan) and to see them at the 2014 Convention. Rosalie said she didn't think she'd make it, but she was still holding on to our hands, eyes shining. I assured her that even though body may be broken, spirit is not and never will be so long as our hearts are faithful and true and sisters, family and friends are close. 

If you did not read the blog that triggered this one, I'll summarize: People suffer. They're sick. They are dying. They are facing a major life event such as homelessness, domestic violence or natural disaster. The blogger said that she felt that there was very little she could do. She mentioned doing things like praying, sending a check or volunteering at a soup kitchen but that at best, she considered these things to be akin to "applying a Band-Aid." The writer also feels that people must walk their own paths and, ultimately, suffer through alone. 

While I can see where she's coming from, I must disagree to some extent. I have seen a life saved by a $5 bill. I have witnessed the power of prayer. I have seen the light restored in an elderly woman's eyes after just a few minutes of conversation with another person who simply showed interest in her. 

I would like to think that should Rosalie not make it to Convention 2014, that I helped to make her last Convention one of the most memorable and special times in her life as an Alpha Gamma Delta. 

I would like to think that while our days were scheduled and I did not see her very often during Convention, that she would remember me as a kind person, interested in her and in her life. 

And I don't even have to think, I know that the polite inaction of the other younger sisters was brought to their attention and they expressed shame. I am confident that next time, they will act differently towards older adults. 

I do not think that people must suffer alone - even at the end of their lives. Of course they are on their own path and no one can be with them at the end of that road. But nothing says that they don't want a hand to hold along the way...

MIA

[the Alpha Gamma Delta badge & pearls]

I feel I should write a quick post about why I have been MIA for so long: I attended a Convention for my sorority, Alpha Gamma Delta, in St. Louis recently. In the days preceding my departure for St. Louis, I was packing bags, buying last minute forgotten items and working. While at the Convention, nearly every hour of my day was planned out for me and I did not even bring my computer with me! Whew! I returned on the evening of July 22nd after about a 10 hour car ride home.

The Convention was outstanding: I got to meet many sisters whom I have only heard over the phone or Skype or emailed back and forth with. They are real people, not just some anonymous person behind a screen somewhere! It also reaffirmed my love for Alpha Gam, our ritual, our sisterhood, our Purpose. For those of who are not Greek and are college-age, I highly encourage at least going through formal recruitment on your campus to see what it's about. I have gotten so many opportunities academically, socially, professionally and personally by being a member of a Greek organization.

Now that I'm off my soapbox about Greek Life, I will say this: I have been working on a new book to review! I was a GoodReads.com First Reads winner and obtained a copy of two pre-print or very newly released books. I'm not going to share the "identity" of the book I am reading right now - I want to reserve my comments until I finish just in case I change my mind. But I will say this: it's a challenge! I am looking forward to finishing it this weekend so I can share with you!

Until then, hang tight! I'm still here - and I'll be back to my usual activity soon!!

Book Review: Bitter is the New Black by Jen Lancaster & Summer Reading Challenge Update

If you've been following, you know I set a challenge for myself back in early June to read 20 books this summer. This is to help fulfill my yearly challenge or 50 books. I failed miserably last year and thought if I took advantage of my time off in the summer, I could get a lot more read. 


I'd like to think that I'm right on schedule: I just passed the 10-book mark! I have not reviewed them all (yet) but the one I just finished is "Bitter is the New Black: Confessions of a Condescending, Egomaniacal, Self-Centered Smart-Ass, or Why You Should Never Carry a Prada Bag to the Unemployment Office: A Memoir" by Jen Lancaster. 


Here's a synopsis (from Goodreads): 


This is the story of how a haughty former sorority girl went from having a household income of almost a quarter-million dollars to being evicted from a ghetto apartment... It's a modern Greek tragedy, as defined by Roger Dunkle in The Classical Origins of Western Culture: a story in which "the central character, called a tragic protagonist or hero, suffers some serious misfortune which is not accidental and therefore meaningless, but is significant in that the misfortune is logically connected."

In other words? The bitch had it coming.


My Thoughts:


I had high hopes for this book. It is the first one I have read by Jen Lancaster and her titles are always so funny. I will give her credit - she can be a pretty comical person. And she's honest: condescending, egomaniacal and self-centered are all very good words to describe her. The first chapter alludes to "the bitch had it coming," so as I was continuing with the book, I was hoping that at some point a lesson would be learned, she would change her ways or thoughts about others, etc. In the final chapter, she says something along the lines of "I've learned nothing." It's unfortunate and, again, true.
I found myself horribly irritated and trying to get through the middle part to find out how this horrible person would change for the better. I never fully got my wish. Granted, she does learn that money isn't everything and learns to find value in small things in life (and even makes a major career change due to her learning) but the "I'm better than you" and "You're disgusting, homeless, filthy, immigrant hippies" part about her never seems to go away. I can understand a certain level of aversion towards certain populations, but honestly much of this book bordered on offensive.
Maybe it's just because I'm a worthless, cretin social worker (surely, in Jennsylvania this would be true...) and I have an ounce of empathy for others, but I just did not find her mean spirited comments or self pity that entertaining or hilarious. I suppose if that's your type of humor, you'd enjoy this book. As for me, if I decide to read anything else by this author, I'll be getting it from the library (you know, where the poor people go?) and not spending $13 on the download. Disappointed.


Final Word: C-

Book Review: Skinny by Ibi Kaslik

Skinny by Ibi Kaslik

Synopsis (by Barnes & Noble): 

Do you ever get hungry? Too hungry to eat?

Holly’s older sister, Giselle, is self-destructing. Haunted by her love-deprived relationship with her late father, this once strong role model and medical student, is gripped by anorexia. Holly, a track star, struggles to keep her own life in balance while coping with the mental and physical deterioration of her beloved sister. Together, they can feel themselves slipping and are holding on for dear life.

This honest look at the special bond between sisters is told from the perspective of both girls, as they alternate narrating each chapter. Gritty and often wryly funny, Skinny explores family relationships, love, pain, and the hunger for acceptance that drives all of us.

My Thoughts:

** spoiler alert ** I enjoyed this book at some parts and in others I wanted to throw it and shout, “Stereotypical! Overdone!” Of course if you’ve read several books on a certain topic (the Holocaust, Japan or, in this case, anorexia) certain things are going to overlap and be repetitive. This book stands out from the rest in the way Giselle describes her experience. Many people claim that when in the clutches of anorexia, it feels as though they are possessed by something other than themselves. This was certainly the case here, but the descriptions of actually looking in the mirror and seeing something completely different were interesting. 

It was also different from many stories in that Giselle seemed to genuinely want to beat this thing much of the time. I also enjoyed when the story was told from her perspective that she spoke as if she were the patient (she is a med student in the book) and was very much detached from things. Of course this theme of detachment is common among many anorexics, the style used in the telling here is refreshingly unique.

Of course there was the usual questioning sexuality, high academic achiever, poor relationship/deceased father, drugs and alcohol abuse - but not in the same devil-may-care recklessness as in Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia by Marya Hornbacher. In this case, Giselle openly admits that the poor relationship with her late father affected her. She claims that she was basically self medicating with the drugs and alcohol. She also recognizes and agonizes over the fact that she sabotages relationships and struggles with her boyfriend.

On the other hand, her sister Holly is a sassy private school girl who excels in athletics far more than in academia. She had a good relationship with her father and is just entering the “world of boys.” Holly’s telling of the story mirrors the same frustration many similar characters in other books have in trying to understand and be supportive of this deadly illness. Add to this equation Giselle’s boyfriends open interest in Holly, her experimental and rash personality, a hearing impairment, and the world of private school discipline and it is clear that Holly has her own demons to battle. 

Perhaps what I liked most about this book is that it does not have a happy ending. Giselle dies. Plain and simple, the anorexia kills her. The way this story was written had me feeling pulled in many directions: Hopeful that Giselle would get better. Fed up with her whining and excuses. Slapping my forehead when Holly repeatedly got into trouble. Angry at their mother who did not even seem interested in trying to understand what was going on. Most books about eating disorders start out telling how the disorder started (some trauma, usually, or the also common “I didn’t even realize it!”), how someone intervenes, what help was given and how through struggles, hard work, tears and support from family and friends they are not living healthy and happy lives. This is not one of those books. Many loose ends are left that way, but in a good way. 

If you’ve read several books on eating disorders or anorexia in particular, this one is definitely worth taking a look at if for no other reason than that it is different on many levels.

Final Word: B+

Bacon Spaghetti: A Recipe from the Great Depression

Made by my great grandmother during the Great Depression, this meal is easy to make, uses up odds and ends around the kitchen (the original recipe called for only a couple of rashers of bacon) and is very inexpensive. This is also one of those “better the next day” recipes, too, so make it ahead and enjoy later!

Bacon Spaghetti

Ingredients:

1 large onion, diced (any but red will do)

2 (14.5 oz) cans of diced tomatoes

1lb bacon

1lb thin spaghetti (use whole wheat for a boost in whole grains, fiber and nutrients)

Salt & Pepper to taste

Directions: 

1. Trim the fat from the ends of the slab of bacon. Cut the raw bacon into bite sized pieces. This is easier to do if you cut the rashers while they are still stuck together instead of trying to cut each individual slice. In a frying pan with deep sides and a lid, fry the pieces until cooked through, but not crisp. It should still be chewy. Remove the bacon to a paper towel to drain. Leave a tablespoon or two of bacon grease in the pan, discarding the rest (or save it for other recipes!).

2. Cook the diced onion in the same pan over medium-low heat until translucent. 

3. Add the diced tomatoes. Refill each can with water and add to the pan. This will help to create a sauce. Bring to a simmer.

4. Add the cooked bacon back into the pan.

5. Add the spaghetti, making sure it is completely covered with the liquid. Add a little more water if necessary, but it is not supposed to be watery. Just enough to cover the pasta. Cover the pan with a lid and let simmer until the pasta is cooked through to your taste (usually about 8-10 minutes, a little longer for whole wheat pasta). 

6. Serve hot and add salt and pepper to taste.

NOTE: This recipe can be tricky to get “just right” in terms of sauce and getting the bacon to the right “doneness” to your preference. It should work out if these instructions are followed, and then can be tweaked to your taste. DO NOT ADD TOO MUCH WATER! It will look like there is not enough in the pan, but push the pasta down (it will break and that is OK!) and just make sure there are no large areas exposed. It WILL work out! 

Overall Grade: A