Since this book is taking me so long to finish, I'll share a particularly powerful moment I had while at the Convention I mentioned yesterday. It came to mind again, particularly after reading this blog. If you'll take a moment to read it, I hope you can see why I was struck by the contrast of the author's words and my personal experience.
This was my first time at Convention, mainly because it is very expensive! I currently serve Alpha Gamma Delta as a Recruitment Specialist for Michigan's lower peninsula, so I thought it would be beneficial to attend and meet my sisters from all over North America in person! Skype, conference calls, webinars and email can only go so far. As a first timer, I wasn't really sure what to expect...
For those of you who are unfamiliar with the Greek system, there are basically two types of members: "collegians" or "actives" (sisters who are still in college - this is who most people think of when they think "sorority" or "fraternity") and "alumnae" (those who have graduated). As an alumna, I thought I would be one of the few alumnae present. I was so wrong.
The two sisters who stand out in my mind are a mother-daughter pair: Rosalie and Alberta. Rosalie must be in her 90's and Alberta in her 70's. Rosalie has suffered a series of strokes this year. She is bound to a wheelchair, had a nurse with her at all times (except during ritual) and held a stress ball in her right hand due to damage from the strokes. Alberta must use a walker. Those two were never, ever separated and Alberta held her mother's hand almost constantly.
I think our society is scared of aging, doesn't know how to respond to our elderly citizens and, generally, de-values these people. Unfortunately, many younger sisters, being products of this society, politely but consciously ignored these wonderful, wizened sisters. My friend and I, however, were intrigued by them and went over to introduce ourselves. What an interesting conversation we had!
We talked about everything from how they were related, that Rosalie was a geographer and about the time Alberta spent growing up in the Alpha Gamma Delta house before she was initiated because Rosalie was the "house mom!" Something Rosalie said when describing her stroke really struck me to the heart. She said, "You see my hand? I am of no use to the chapters anymore!" Of all the things to be upset over, Rosalie was worried about being useless to others. What a heart of gold and a true Alpha Gam! Alberta stayed faithfully by her side the entire time, taking measures to comfort and calm. They are incredible women with stories, experiences and full lives to share.
But perhaps the most important thing Rosalie and Alberta taught me was a wordless lesson: Sometimes another person's touch can be the best healer. We Alpha Gams have an activity where we forms a circle, hold hands and sing favorite songs. Being wheelchair bound and with a walker, naturally Rosalie and Alberta were not able to circle up with everyone else. When I saw this, my friend and I gathered a small group of other sisters to sit with them at their table to make our own, smaller circle within the larger one.
With nearly 650 women, this was a very powerful thing. To hold Roasalie's warm, gentle, arthritic hand and share the music of our Fraternity was one of the most powerful experiences of my life. Sheer joy and laugher shone across Alberta's face as she sang out, loud and proud,
"Chums are we!
True blue old chums!
Alpha Gam binds us,
Right loyal she finds us!
Pals are we,
Ever we'll be
True to each other
Dear Alpha Gam chums!"
After the music had ended, my friend and I sat and talked with the two women for a while, promising to write (they live in Colorado, while we are in Michigan) and to see them at the 2014 Convention. Rosalie said she didn't think she'd make it, but she was still holding on to our hands, eyes shining. I assured her that even though body may be broken, spirit is not and never will be so long as our hearts are faithful and true and sisters, family and friends are close.
If you did not read the blog that triggered this one, I'll summarize: People suffer. They're sick. They are dying. They are facing a major life event such as homelessness, domestic violence or natural disaster. The blogger said that she felt that there was very little she could do. She mentioned doing things like praying, sending a check or volunteering at a soup kitchen but that at best, she considered these things to be akin to "applying a Band-Aid." The writer also feels that people must walk their own paths and, ultimately, suffer through alone.
While I can see where she's coming from, I must disagree to some extent. I have seen a life saved by a $5 bill. I have witnessed the power of prayer. I have seen the light restored in an elderly woman's eyes after just a few minutes of conversation with another person who simply showed interest in her.
I would like to think that should Rosalie not make it to Convention 2014, that I helped to make her last Convention one of the most memorable and special times in her life as an Alpha Gamma Delta.
I would like to think that while our days were scheduled and I did not see her very often during Convention, that she would remember me as a kind person, interested in her and in her life.
And I don't even have to think, I know that the polite inaction of the other younger sisters was brought to their attention and they expressed shame. I am confident that next time, they will act differently towards older adults.
I do not think that people must suffer alone - even at the end of their lives. Of course they are on their own path and no one can be with them at the end of that road. But nothing says that they don't want a hand to hold along the way...
